By: Matthew Glenside
Somewhere along the course of my tumultuous dating adventures I began to question—is it just me? Could I be the one to blame for the oft-combative nature of my relationship with my girlfriend’s “best friend?” About 5 years ago, I probably would’ve admitted after much alcohol, inward reflection and emotional talk, yes, yes it was me being a douche, being too judgey* and that I’m hopelessly impossible to get along with. 5 years later, alas, present day, it matters not my state of intoxication, nor need for reflection, that no, no it is not my fault. For some reason, I am only attracted to a certain cross-section of girl who is hopelessly too fucking stupid to judge the character of the idiots they call friends.
I find it important to note that for as much of an asshole that I am, and for as much as an asshole ALL of these women will tell you I am (half deservedly, half hyperbolized to the ends of the earth), I am a serial monogamist who never cheats. I’ll force Harris at some point to write about the way I get with women: wicked invested with a touch of worship. I’m a horrible boyfriend on so many levels, but… eh, forget it. Maybe I just am the worst thing in the world.
Allow me to explain after the jump!
